From The Vault: Spring’s Bittersweet Symphony
This column originally appeared in the March 21, 2002, edition of The Breeze. In the original article I incorrectly and idiotically attributed “Bittersweet Symphony” to Third Eye Blind and I heard about it for weeks afterward. I’m taking the liberty of changing that for this here post because it seems insulting that I would attribute an awesome song like that to Stephen Jenkins. It’s practically sacrilegious actually. BTW, Amy asked me the other day about the strange photos on this here blog. Basically, when I have a topic, I hop on Google search and try to find the creepiest photo I can to match the article. This photo seems springy and symphonic. I think it also qualifies as creepy. We all win!
BTW, I updated the random thoughts and lingo posts with new stuff! They’re in blue. They’re the new blue thangs basically.
Enjoy the article, because it’s hitting you right…about…now…
The next time you see me, I’ll likely have a ridiculous grin on my face, shamefully nappy hair and a thin stream of snot running directly into my mouth.
Nothing new, you say.
Au contrair, Corvair.
It’s Spring. That’s what’s new.
Checked my e-mail the other day and got that sudden rush of overwhelming glee I succumb to when I see a new message in there. Had a comment on the ‘other blog’ and went to check it. I was ‘tagged’ by a friend and thus forced to put 10 random things about myself on my blog. Never one to pass up some good ol’ fashioned peer pressure, I wracked my brain to come up with the 10 most entertaining random things about myself.
It was a good exercise actually. I not only learned some things about myself, but actually ended up finding that those little things that peeve me about good ol’ Dave are actually kind of amusing and endearing.
Maybe I should get to know myself a little better more often.
An Open Letter To Hillary And Barack
Listen up you two, because I’m not saying it again.
You’re both walking a very fine line with those of us who vividly remember the 2000 presidential election as one of the darkest, most undemocratic days on record. Hillary, try if you may to remember what it felt like when your hubby’s veep lost out on an election because the Supreme Court ruled in favor of George W. Bush.
You may recall Al Gore won the popular vote, albeit by a shred, but Dipstick Magee won the most according to the Electoral College, (my least favorite college of all time). It all came down to Florida, where Bush’s brother was governor, and The Supremes handed Florida over to Dinglenuts before all the votes were even counted.
Think back to what it felt like to watch more than half the country have their votes voided by a group of partisan hacks.
Sucked, didn’t it?
From The Vault: A Budding Writer Waiting To Bud
This post was originally published in the Wauneta Breeze (aka The Best Small Town Newspaper In The World) on August 22, 2002. I don’t remember writing it, but recently rediscovered it in the stack of old newspapers my sister gave me. I worked for The Breeze from 2000-2002, and still consider it to be one of my fave jobs ev. BTW, this was written approximately four months after Amy and I met and a month before I started coaching volleyball. This sucker actually contains a shout-out to Ben Affleck and Jen Lopez so you know it’s the genuine article from dos-aught-aught-dos. Enjoy.
Some of us were ready to bud before the world was prepared for our beauty.
It was in elementary school that I learned I was a genius.
Given a writing assignment, any required length or topic, I could turn what was once a mundane idea into something that moved people.
Like literary Ex-Lax.